Acknowledgment

So it has been a while.  As I know this blog is more for me than anyone else.  It is my perception on my life at the time.  I do not expect followers, but I am glad to have something to go back and reflect upon.  God does work in the lives of his children.

Over the last few weeks, watching my child move the last of their belongings out of the house, I came to a place of acknowledgment.  I acknowledge that I am not in control, and should not wish to be if I am a child of God.  I acknowledge that when I try to be in control, that God's will cannot be done because I am not seeking it.  I acknowledge that I have lost sight on the big picture and was/am focusing on the here and now.  In other words, my eyes were/are off of Jesus and fully on me and how my children's choices were effecting my life and my reputation. 



In this place of acknowledgment, God has been with me the whole time.  I knew this intellectually, but not relationally.  I have forgotten and have become complacent in all my relationships, but especially my relationship with my Savior.  It is a bad place to be.  It is where the deceiver wants us to be. Thankfully I have a Savior who has covered me by His grace, so that I can be restored.  He is not one to beat me over the head and tell me "I told you so", or no longer love me because I am not perfect.  The concept of unconditional love is difficult for me to grasp because of my past, even after 21 years of salvation.  I am acknowledging this fact and putting it out there, because I believe that God has brought me to a place that I can break free of that bondage.