January Birthday's Done

So I am now officially caught up with all of January Birthday's at work.  Yeah, now I need to finish February and March, plus my friends that are coming up during those months.

I am a Close To My Heart Consultant to support my habit of crafting.  I also love their products.  All papers and stamps in these photos are CTMH products.  Again I need to figure out my camera to get the colors to show true.

Having Fun Creating Again

So I have a lot of time on my hands in the evenings.  It is either stay at work late (which will happen during CSAP), but for now I am enjoying stamping and creating again.  I am also reading and trying to stay away from watching TV too much (a problem I can tend to have.)  I make the Birthday cards at my school and try to create individual cards that can express the personalities of the recipients.  Here are a few I made the other night.  

 

I am still trying to figure out this great camera my daughter bought me for my last birthday.  I have yet to get the lighting right to show the true colors of the cards.  Anyway thanks for stopping by and looking.

 

God is Awesome

We have been attending a new church for about 3 weeks.  It is awesome.  The worship service is incredible and the sermons are scriptural and filled with the love of God.  God has really pulled me to that congregation to be refreshed.  I have yet to see or hear religion.  
Let me digress.  For a while I have had no desire to be in church.  I had been hurt and burned out.  I just wanted to get back to God and not worry about what religion was telling me.  For the past year, something had been nagging me, but I could not quite put my finger on it.  After leaving and being out of church, God revealed to me that I had been caught up in the religious aspect and not a real relationship with him. I was still in bondage.  I wanted to dress right, act right, and serve that would be my "fruits".  Then I started rebelling in dress, I wore pants, then jeans.  I just felt that I should be considered for what was on the inside.  It was an act and starting to be a chore to go to services.  Then we started feeling like we really didn't fit in.  I had never experienced that in my christian life and it was disheartening. I thought that there was something wrong with me and that God was distant.  

Looking back, I see how God was working.  He was opening my heart, so I could get past all the rules and regulations that I had been taught.  He did this so I could be open to what He wanted to show me.  It started with a book called "So you don't want to go to church Anymore."  It is a fiction work, but it did open my eyes to how far I had distanced myself from God by putting him on a chore list.  As long as I fit him in and read some scripture, did a Bible study here or there, served, I could check Him off.  I really had no concept of who He could be in my life.  Yes, there were certain times over the last 21 years that I knew Him relationally, but it never stuck because I kept getting caught up in the religiosity.
So back to the beginning.  We attended service last night, on a Saturday.  A year ago, I would have never thought to do that, it wasn't right.  But low and  behold, God is Awesome and revealed himself to me once again.  Even on a Saturday night.  He confirmed what I wrote about yesterday and showed me I was in His will for His direction in my life.  He drew me to Himself and showed me His love, not the rules he wants me to follow.  God is Awesome.

Acknowledgment

So it has been a while.  As I know this blog is more for me than anyone else.  It is my perception on my life at the time.  I do not expect followers, but I am glad to have something to go back and reflect upon.  God does work in the lives of his children.

Over the last few weeks, watching my child move the last of their belongings out of the house, I came to a place of acknowledgment.  I acknowledge that I am not in control, and should not wish to be if I am a child of God.  I acknowledge that when I try to be in control, that God's will cannot be done because I am not seeking it.  I acknowledge that I have lost sight on the big picture and was/am focusing on the here and now.  In other words, my eyes were/are off of Jesus and fully on me and how my children's choices were effecting my life and my reputation. 



In this place of acknowledgment, God has been with me the whole time.  I knew this intellectually, but not relationally.  I have forgotten and have become complacent in all my relationships, but especially my relationship with my Savior.  It is a bad place to be.  It is where the deceiver wants us to be. Thankfully I have a Savior who has covered me by His grace, so that I can be restored.  He is not one to beat me over the head and tell me "I told you so", or no longer love me because I am not perfect.  The concept of unconditional love is difficult for me to grasp because of my past, even after 21 years of salvation.  I am acknowledging this fact and putting it out there, because I believe that God has brought me to a place that I can break free of that bondage.